BrokeandNerdy

NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE YOU

Today, after a couple of friends left my apartment, I heard some noises outside.

It sounded like a bird “Caw-ing” 

Actually, It sounded like a person trying to sound like a bird “caw-ing”

I walk outside and there is a person writhing around in a giant potato sack…

I was freaked out.

Because I was standing in front a potato sack with a person in it and it was “caw-ing” at me.

I open the sack and out rolled a man, Just as I suspected.

What I did not expect was to see this man dressed from head to toe in a bird costume.

He was dressed as a giant crow.

Big black greasy feathers…. He was tall and I was terrified.

He was staring down his beak at me, and even though I knew it was a costume and his head was fake, I could’ve sworn he was about to eat me.

So Im standing there, wearing nothing but some black cut-off shorts, a wife beater , and a peacoat (because its chilly outside) and this 6 foot crow is staring down his beak at me.

I wanted to crap my pants, I hear you crap your pants when you die anyway so its not like it matters… and I certainly thought I was going to die.

…After a short silence he took of his Crow mask/hood and looked at me with this warm smile, and I thought I was going to melt.The man standing in front of me I could not have expected in the deepest and darkest fathoms of my imagination.

My mind was breaking in front of me because someone had bent reality and turned reason upside down on what seemed like it was going to be a normal day in November.It was Bill Murray.I smiled big, because I thought I was dreaming and I wanted to tell him how much I appreciate his work and that I was a big fan but instead I remained silent.Not because I couldnt bring myself to say anything, It was because right before I went to open my mouth he put his shiny bird hand to my lips and said “Shhhhh… Thank you for freeing me.”I did not know how to react. So I didn’t , I just stood there with my mouth agape completely flabberghasted by what I had just witnessed and then jumped off my door stoop to see if I could fly.By this time I could only assume I was dreaming, Well to my dismay my feet hit the ground when I shouldve been halfway to Japan.

Bill looked at me deeply for a second, slightly concerned that I had just attempted to fly.then he said, ” No one will ever believe you”.  ,  and started cawing again except this time he was flapping his “Wings” he ran around in circles for a few seconds and then ran down an alley.I would have chased him but I was paralyzed with disbelief and was in a stupor.Even though i know none of my friends will believe it,

I met Bill Murray once…